Drives me to drink.... 2019/02/01

I went to see Mom on Monday. It had been a little over a week since the last time I saw her. To my surprise, she was in a wheelchair. Apparently that wasn't a significant enough change to warrant a phone call from the staff at Cedar Ridge. Guess who thought it was a significant enough change: me. Casey (one of Mom's caregivers) told me she'd been in the wheelchair for about a week. She also told me that they had taken X-rays to rule out any stress fracture. (Also a surprise to me.) Then she proceeded to tell me that they thought Mom might have a UTI and they were going to do a urinalysis.

I told Mom I'd see her later & went to do a pass of her room. She's still in the "packing" phase (because her parents are coming to get her). I walked in, and everything was neat and tidy, but the lamp on her side table was missing. It was a little gold pineapple lamp. Mom loved it. I loved it. And it's just gone? I searched everywhere in her room. It's just gone. Who steals a lamp!?

I sent an email to the director and the head nurse detailing my complaints. Director is on vacation. Nurse emailed me back giving me a bunch of lip service about why I wasn't notified, but he promised to keep in the loop moving forward, would find the lamp. Blah blah blah bullshit bullshit bullshit. Incidentally, I told them during our intake interview that communication was my hot-button and one of the reasons we were moving Mom out of Silverado. Apparently he didn't hear me. Trust me...he's heard me now.

Wednesday afternoon I got a call from Meagan, another of Mom's nurses. She said Mom had a fever & they suspected she had a UTI that had gone septic and she needed to go to the hospital. I'm sorry, WHAT? A UTI was "suspected" three days ago. Can someone please explain to me why it hasn't already been confirmed and a course of antibiotics started!? Speaking as someone who has had a UTI, FUCK YOU ALL if you wait three days to start treating it! But yes, of course, send her to the hospital in an ambulance that I have to pay for because you've completely mismanaged my mother's care.

Four hours later, I call Meagan back. She tells me that yes, Mom is at the ER and they confirmed a UTI and borderline sepsis. She gives me the number. I call.

Side note: I started feeling crummy Tuesday evening around 9pm. By 10:30pm, I had thrown up everything in my stomach exorcist-style and had a 100.3 fever. I have a stomach bug & can't risk Mom getting it, so I can't go see her. So she's in an unfamiliar setting all alone.

"Chuck" answers in the ER. (I don't know why I have his name in quotes. That is his name. But I feel like it needs to be said with a certain emphasis of disdain.)

• Chuck: "Patient's name?"

• Me: "Klein. K-L-E-I-N"

• Chuck: "Oh, well I can't give you any information, but your dad is standing right in front of me, so I'll have him call you after he goes back to see her."

• Me: "Well that's unlikely. My dad is dead."

• Chuck: .................. "Um...oh...sorry. May I put you on hold?" click

• Chuck: "Sorry about that. So, I still can't give you any information without her permission."

• Me: (about the melt the phone with my voice) "My mom has Alzheimer's. I'm her Power of Attorney." You absolute fucking MORON!!! (That last bit was just in my head.)

• Chuck: "Please hold." click.

After being on hold for fifteen minutes, I hung up and called back. Larkin was pleasant and seemed to know his shit. He gave me the info I needed and set me up on a text alert system with the hospital.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Another email to director and head nurse. He called me this morning. More lip service. More talking in circles and contradicting himself. And me finally telling him, "I'm glad you feel like 'proper procedure' was followed, Hunter. I need to get off the phone before I say something I'll regret."

I talked to the hospital again today. Mom is stable - on fluids and IV antibiotics. Director's assistant called me and tried to smooth things over. Hunter called me back - he went to go see Mom & gave me an update on her condition (which I'd already gotten from the hospital...but at least he now seems to understand the oh so complicated intricacies of communication).

Mom should be okay. She'll be released this weekend. Me? It's a damn good thing I have a stomach bug, because otherwise I'd be halfway through a bottle of wine.

Day 13 of 90.