Corrie,
I wanted to let you know my mom passed peacefully at Christopher House at 2:46am on 12/24/22. She was surrounded by people who treated her with gentleness, kindness, and gave her the most graceful transition I could have asked for.
I’m writing because I’m honestly astonished at the things you said to me when I chose to move her. I have been my mother’s advocate since she was diagnosed in 2013, and her sole advocate since my dad passed in 2015. The level of decline in her care at Cedar Ridge was more disappointing than I even realized at the time it was happening - but you don’t know what you don’t know. The fact that I was an hour away and not able to be there every day to check on her and the care she was receiving breaks my heart & will haunt me for the rest of my life.
As you and I discussed, she was left in bed in a sweatshirt, a diaper, and her pants around her thighs so it “would be easier” (your words) for her caregiver to change her before getting her back into her wheelchair. And the time she (or someone) spilled an entire glass of water or tea in her lap and left her sitting in wet pants for who knows how long because she “wasn’t her resident that day” (also your words) is despicable.
When I got the email (not the letter) of the rate increase - which gave no notification of what the increase would be - and we talked about that, we talked about the level of care she was not receiving. When I told you hospice was the one providing much of the care, you literally said to me, “Well, hospice doesn’t actually do anything.” Hospice Austin has done more than Cedar Ridge has done for her actual care and communication with me in the 5 years she’s been there - unless I called a meeting with you. All of this is disturbing to me. Perhaps it’s different in the senior living community world, but in Texas real estate law, you must give a tenant a minimum of a 60-day written notice if you raise someone’s rate by over 5%. We got less than a 30-day notice.
The last day I was at Cedar Ridge, my mother was in obvious distress & pain. I thank God Shelly was available to come over, assess her, and get her into Christopher House. Her eyes were so crusty they were nearly glued shut. When she opened them, the whites of her eyes were blood red. That’s the “improved” level of care you claim she was being given after your “talk” with the staff? It’s disgusting.
When you called me the morning after we transferred her and you said, “What happened!?” and I told you she needed 24/7 care, you told me it was unkind to move her from “the place she was comfortable and the caregivers she knows!” She hasn’t known me for years. How dare you suggest I wasn’t doing the best for my mom. I have always been her advocate. And I thank her friend Judith (who was a Hospice Austin nurse for 17 years) for her advice & advocacy as well (including everyone at Hospice Austin). What is unkind is you suggesting I wasn’t doing the absolute best and kindest thing for my mom.
I’m grateful my mom passed at a place surrounded by kindness & love - which she was not receiving at Cedar Ridge these last few months.