The Real Face of Alzheimer's 2019/10/21

When I've gone to visit Mom, I've been selective about the photos I take and post. I try to take them when she's having a good day. But the truth is, the good days are few and far between. She's in a wheelchair 100% of the time now. She fell out of it twice last week. She can't feed herself anymore. She's in a separate dining room where she can get more attention during mealtimes.

I went to see Mom today right before lunch. I usually pop in to say hello and leave pretty quickly - there's no conversation. Sometimes I'll show her pictures of Brent and me, or the dogs, but she didn't know who I was today. It's uncomfortable for me to sit there in silence, but today I stayed. I stayed to feed her lunch. She didn't know who I was. She didn't respond anytime I called her "Mom". She only looked up if I called her Carol. I'm just a random person now. I'm a friendly face she doesn't know.

In between bites of soft baby-like food, she either fell asleep, tried to eat her napkin, or fought me. The "conversation" was mostly me saying, "CAROL. You can't eat that. It's a cloth napkin. PUT IT DOWN." The caregivers told me that happens every day. God bless them for the jobs they do.

I'm just a random person now, but so is she. She's just a shell.

Alzheimer's is a bunch of bullshit.